Pet Nasty War – Unto The Breach

I have it in my power to retake the office.  By this weekend’s exvasion time and space enough have been secured, and the children will be on vacation for two days more.  Where delay might have been prudence it would now be cowardice.  And so I come to it at last, the great battle of our time.  Too long have I delayed while those monsters brazenly befouled that place which should have been for me a redoubt of knowledge, a place of solace, a showcase for my domestic achievements.  And what is it instead?  What has it become while I have stood by and watched, debasing myself by changing cat litter and gathering cat poop like apples in an orchard?  Shame given shape; an execrable pit blasted out of the heart of the Empire.  No more, my friends.  Let me now stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.  I will have war at last, arduous but unambiguous and ending only with victory or defeat.   Let the cats know I move against them, let the bird-murderers do whatever evil against me they might devise.