FSX Double Friday Update

We missed last week’s FSX, so we have a little catching up to do this week. I know none of you even know what’s happened in the market recently without the FSX. So. What’s been happening? Um, March Madness? I know that’s not the stock market, but a lot of people care about it, right? Russia/Crimea. That plane that disappeared. Another update to the layout of Facebook that annoys lots of people, but they still have lots of money and spent $2 billion on some other company. So that’s the Katie-guest market update!

The actual overall numbers for the last two weeks:
S&P +0.9%
NASDAQ -2.1%.
FSX -1.0%

On to the people, with help from the girls.

Advancers

• LULU +10.9%. Jenny: Lulu gained weight. Reagan: She lost weight. Jenny: I’m trying to remember…what was her last place in the pet association thingamajig? President. I’m bumping her up to CEO. (You may not remember a previous update where Jenny came up with some weird pet society thing.)
• Marcus (MCS) +9.0%. Lee: Marcus broke to a new multi-year high. Jenny: Spring break! Or is it not his spring break? Reagan: We’re gonna go to New York and see them some summer. Jenny: Even if it’s not spring break, I bet their quarter ended and their students did awesome. (We’re not sure why Marcus is a “they”.)
• Nicole E. (NICE) +7.1%. Jenny: She’s winning that thing-y! (Referring to the brackets.) And they’re moving. Lee: They’re moving to a new house and she got a new job. Reagan: She’s secretly pregnant! This can be our new gossip blog! Jenny: Gossip Girl!
• Wilson (WILC) +5.2%. Jenny: He is president. Reagan: He’s president in the pet association, which is higher than CEO. Me: Then why would Lulu be higher than Wilson? Reagan: Because Lulu celebrates stupid things.
• Jodi Ann (JOY) +4.0%. Jenny: Students did good. Me: She’s not even teaching. Jenny: Josie did good on her test. Little Josie. (She says little Josie with her fingers about an inch apart like she’s the teeniest kid ever.) Reagan: Another thing to add to the gossip column. Josie Ann learned to talk and is cussing at her parents all the time.
• Mario the Younger (MAR) +2.9%. Jenny: He’s in love with the stroller. Wait, the baby hasn’t been born yet. He’s sleeping in the stroller. Reagan: He takes his midday naps in the stroller. He’s trying to get used to the baby’s schedule in a strange way.

Decliners

• Mario the Elder (MGEE) -3.0%. Reagan: His lovely wife isn’t there. Jenny: Lucas isn’t coming to Hilton Head, so there won’t be anyone to talk about sports with him. He can watch hockey with Brinky though. Pittsburgh Penguins!
• Katie (CATY) -3.6%. Katie: Why am I down, girls? Jenny: Because, mommy. That sweater. The rest of us: Ohhhhhh. Me: That was kind of rude. Reagan: You’re down because you’re going to be separated from your sweet baby boy during spring break.
• Charlotte (ICE) -4.3%. Reagan: Ooohhh, she’s probably reading Allegiant. Jenny: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. Everyone dies.
• Brinkley (BCO) -4.8%. Jenny: He poured water all down his front today. Lee: One word. Cups. That’s why your dad’s down too.
• Ruby (RJET) -5.2%. Lee: Cups. Do you know what “cups” is? You’re about to find out. Jenny: What if he walks into their house and says “cups”? And then pours a drink on himself.
• Zondro (ZQK) -7.1%. Me: Did they kick him out of the association? Jenny: No. He’s in prison. Do you know why? He peed on one of the main central computers in the big office, like electronic room.
• Reagan (REGN) -8.9%. Jenny: I can’t think of any. I’m going to get it though. Did you throw something at Gideon this week? Lee: He’s your boyfriend? Jenny: Yes! Reagan: No! Me: I’m not ready for this. Reagan: I can’t get Free Four. I need 90 more cents to get it, and I can’t. (That’s an extra little Divergent book, for those who don’t know.)
• Jenny (GNE) -10.6%. Jenny: Because I’m going to throw a fit if I don’t have an A (said in a little bit of a British accident). We were supposed to have that quiz, and we didn’t. I have to write a paper on Arizona. I mean, no offense to Arizona. Reagan: Jenny’s down…all I can think of his that she doesn’t have an A. Jenny’s down because she had been like, “I’m gonna pack early to make up for the coast trip.” She didn’t though.