Mr. Sensitive

July 14, 2010

Here Comes The Hotstepper

Filed under: House,Stuff I Just Wanted To Say — lbej @ 08:13

Operation Hotstepper, the transformation of the Empire into party central by Saturday, is scheduled to commence at approximately 10 a.m. this morning.  Already the battle plan is in flux.  The sun broke through the clouds not five minutes ago, this after two days of rain.  Thus the terrain may not yet be suitable for backyard operations when the campaign gets underway less than two hours hence.  I would consult the weather reports but they are of no value.  Yesterday I was told something to the effect of “scattered thunderstorms possible.”  Thank you so much for that definitive prediction, AccuWeather.  So for planning purposes I can assume that it will not rain, unless it does.  At least the forecasters will indemnify me in the event they are wrong.  I love it.  Economists and meteorologists are all the same.  They admit they can’t predict the future and yet we as a society pay them to do precisely that.  If I told you there was a fifty percent chance I could fly and land a plane, would you pay me to be your pilot?  Perhaps if I showed you videos of planes taking off and landing.  That’s all radar is, a fancy picture of regional heat and moisture in regard of which the fellow controlling the display has zero control or foreknowledge.  At least fortune-tellers have crystal balls and cool names.  I will attack at ten, in the basement or the upstairs hall if I must.

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