Mr. Sensitive

August 29, 2010

If You Were The Worst Dog

Filed under: House,Pet Nasty War,Pets — lbej @ 21:10
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This is the sort of thing you would do to a rug:

Dozens of times.  It will take at least three showers to wash off the experience of rolling up this pee-soaked carpet.  I would be able to focus my powerful hatred on Wilson more consistently if his own self-hatred didn’t ethereally neutralize it.  When I enter a room he’s in I swear I can feel this happen.

July 22, 2010

Pet Nasty War – Office Landings Unopposed

Filed under: Pet Nasty War,Pets — lbej @ 13:16
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It had been my intention to focus on the master bedroom today.  It was the Hindenburg Line for last week’s birthday renovations, the great redoubt upon which clothes, toys and furniture might crash without front line operations becoming compromised.  But now that Jenny’s room has been successfully transformed, I’m tripping over a Barbie vanity three times a night for no good reason.  I had been at it no more than five minutes this morning when both cats arrived in rapid succession to blow up the litter box.  I retreated lest I should be felled by the stench, and when I returned thirty minutes later they were sleeping in the piles of clothes I had left on the bed.  It was a masterful coup de main and a clear setback, but it presented an opportunity as well.  If I know where both cats are–I seldom do–then I know also where they are not: they are not trying to get into the office while I am working to empty it.  So I cleared it, all of it, before lunch, leaving only the large bookshelves and the desk.  These pieces of furniture will remain where they are because they are too heavy and cumbersome for me to move.  I can live with that because they have never been moved and thus the space they cover is pristine.  Now the carpet is at my mercy.  I may destroy it now and I may not.

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