Mr. Sensitive

February 29, 2012

Operation Simba – One Year Yellaversary

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 09:44

We passed the one-year mark in Operation Simba three weeks ago, but apparently we’re yellabrating today.  Brinky’s getting some molars in and it seems that having bone spikes rip out of your gum-holes isn’t something you get used to no matter how many times it happens.  I suppose the next time I have a tooth break in half (the over-under is May) I won’t be any happier than I was the last five times.  In view of his mouth challenges, Brinky has decided that he will no longer be sleeping in his crib.  If he happens to fall asleep while sitting on someone and watching a suitable television program, so be it.  But the crib is out.  Yesterday I let him win.  He’d been screaming like ants were eating his face for a solid 45 minutes, and when his sisters got home, I just decided I was done and I gave him to Jenny.  He fell asleep on her half-an-hour later, but he’d clearly driven me from the field and thus had won the battle by any conventional measure.  On top of that, he was up until 10:00 last night and he woke up at 5:00 this morning.  Enough, I said to him, is enough.  He was exhausted by 8:00 this morning, but I stretched him out until 8:40 to get another bottle in and give him one more diaper change.  At 8:45 I rocked him to sleep for five minutes and then I laid him in his crib, told him I love him (not strictly true by that point), and left the room.  Immediately thereafter the ants returned.  I let him go until 9:20, but this time he had misjudged his opponent.  I could afford to fall back yesterday; I had reinforcements at hand and he’d already taken a nap that morning, insufficient though it was.  I was beaten–I don’t deny it–but he thought me broken, and he was wrong.  At 9:20 I delivered the coup de grace: Tylenol and an extra pacifier for after he throws the first one at the door.  He managed less than ten minutes of resistance this time.  Now I’ve had ten minutes of peace and the odds are that he’s beaten.  Beaten, but not broken–I won’t make the same mistake he did.

February 28, 2012

You Showed Him, Death

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 09:39

War is no joke.  You take a minute to sketch some dead people, and the next thing you know, Death sneaks up and…makes a ha-ha drawing of of you as a skeleton!  So maybe war is a joke after all, only I don’t get the joke.

Separately, is Corporal Handsome supposed to be sitting back against that tree?  Because he’s not.


February 27, 2012


Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 12:06

They never change.

Whose Side Are You On, Woman?

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 12:01

Damn it, Bonnie!  Every time.  We talked about this–the giant spiders don’t know I can’t fight them with a crowbar if you don’t tell them.  Stay in the time sphere if you can’t keep your lady-maw shut.

February 24, 2012

FSX Friday Update

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 16:59

It was a milestone week for U.S. equities, as the Dow crossed 13,000 for the first time since the summer of 2008 and the Nasdaq posted a series of new ten-year highs.  I didn’t figure 13,000 to be significant from a technical standpoint, but I’ll be darned if the markets didn’t sell off every time that level was breached this week.  The Family Stock Index topped the 13,000 level as well, revisiting last week’s eight-month highs in the process.  This week’s steadily affirmative trading pushed the index up 1.5% to a 13,015 Friday close, with the gains coming on a week when the #1 stock of 2012—Reagan (REGN)—traded flat and #2 Ruby fell off a cliff.  If the FSX rally is going to take another leg up, it can’t do it on the backs of these two alone.  That we can have a rotation into long-time laggards (me, Lucas, Charlotte, Brinky) during a two-week period in which we also made new highs is very impressive.  I’m getting so bullish that it has to be a sell signal.


  • Justin (WOLF) +20%.  Justin blew through his 52-week high this week and now stands at +50% for 2012.  The tangible positives are considerable: employment, engagement, and new living quarters.  Sounds like me circa 1999, but hopefully without a decade-long train wreck on the horizon.  I don’t have so redoubtable a canine, but I have much more reliable hairline.  That’s called balancing the scales.
  • Lucas (LEI) +18%.  Lucas sitting out the 2012 FSX rally was as unnatural as Zero leading it; the role reversal of the last two weeks is another important bullish indicator for the index.
  • Lee (MSTR) +9.3%.  Katie’s take on this is that I did my writing crazy awesome, and I worked late enough on Tuesday that she got to watch Parenthood almost live.  I did work hard this week on a chapter that ended up being much longer than I expected—I may split it during the rewrites—and I did almost eight thousand words in a little over 24 hours at one point.  I wasn’t done until almost 10 pm on Tuesday, which was so far past my bedtime that it felt like bedtime of the next day.  The two big takeaways: (1) I’m going to win the Book War, and (2) I’m really old.
  • Brinkley (BCO) +4.3%.  Two words: fruit snacks.
  • Charlotte (ICE) +3.9%.  Jenny reports that Charlotte is definitely moving to North Carolina, although neither Katie nor I have been able to confirm that.  Jenny’s blockbuster acquisition of Charlotte would be as significant a deal as any of the year’s nuptials, with Reagan and Brinky likely becoming minority owners.  I don’t know if Charlotte knows she’s being taken over by Jenny, but the market is clearly building in an acquisition premium.
  • Jodi Ann (JOY) +2.8%.  No resolution to the three-syllable conundrum has been proposed to me, and so I’m taking matters into my own hands.  I’ve decided to eschew Jodi altogether—I’ve known too many Jodis—and go for some kind of mutant name.  Could I perhaps merge the elements of her name into something more palatable?  I started with Jan, but we have an Aunt Jan, so that’s out.  Then I moved on to Jam, but that’s got a little too much energy.  What about Jem?  Jem is excitement, but also glamour, fashion, and fame.  And red hair is close to pink, right?


  • Jenny (JNY) -3.0%.  The middle school selection process is becoming pretty nerve-racking for Jenny and for her parents.  I thought we were locked into our residential school, but then Jenny tested into the smarty-pants program and we had two to consider.  We got back to one, but then Jenny talked to her teacher about it, and suddenly we were considering three(!) schools.  The market hates uncertainty; it also hates middle schools that are more than twenty minutes away.
  • Katie (CATY) -4.2%.  According to Katie, she’s down this week because she’s a Fatty Fatterson with no willpower so she’s not going to win the weight loss contest at her work.  I think the market is more concerned about fallout from the middle school selection process.  This is a novelty for both of us, after all.  The first school choice either of us made was college, and I got that one wrong on the first try.
  • Zero (ZIP) -4.2%.  The Charlotte deal will land Jenny a secondary asset in the bargain: Zero.  It’s clear that the market thinks Jenny will have neither the ability to manage Zero nor the savvy to get a good price for him in a sale.  Hopefully she won’t be so short-sighted when the time comes to pull the trigger; Charlotte may have the more recognizable brand, but Zero is a cash cow.
  • Ruby (RJET) -11.4%.  Ruby had clearly priced in some aggressive travel expectations, and just one month in which she spends more time at home than on the road is enough to knock some of the wind out of the stock.  With RJET still 50% above year-end 2011 levels, it would take a move below $4.50 to set off any real alarms.
Name Ticker 2/24/2012 Change
Brinkley BCO $24.85 +1.02
Charlotte ICE $139.74 +5.27
Dustin DST $53.39 +0.47
Icarus FLOW $4.14 -0.16
Jenny JNY $9.57 -0.30
Jodi Ann JOY $90.65 +2.43
Justin WOLF $4.30 +0.72
Katie CATY $16.53 -0.73
Lee MSTR $137.82 +11.72
Lisa LNCE $22.37 +0.45
Lucas LEI $3.03 +0.46
Lulu LULU $66.59 +1.58
Marcus MCS $12.85 +0.33
Mario T.E. MGEE $46.10 +0.22
Mario T.Y. SUP $18.56 -0.55
Marisa MOLX $27.40 -0.18
Namilita NL $15.15 -0.44
Nicole B. NI $23.68 -0.11
Nicole L. COL $59.88 +0.43
Reagan REGN $103.22 -0.06
Ruby RJET $5.07 -0.65
Wilson WILC $4.96 +0.11
Winston ED $58.84 +0.97
Zero ZIP $13.47 -0.59
Zondro ZQK $4.60 -0.09

Chris Brown and Mel Gibson

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 12:44

I think of the Chris Brown and Mel Gibson legacies as similar, in that they are both publically abusive lunatics.  So why do I find Chris Brown more offensive?  Because he expects everyone to pretend like we don’t all know he’s an abusive lunatic.  He’s like, “Why you hatin’?  I got a Grammy, I can dance, and it’s not like I almost killed Rihanna after she looked at me funny.  These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”  Chris Brown gets mad at people because they can remember back further than three years?  You should be proud of America, Chris.  I bet upwards of 80% of Americans can’t remember who ran against Barack Obama in 2008, but we all know you got arrested for beating the shit out of Rihanna.

At the opposite extreme, we have Mel Gibson, one of the most despicable people ever to be given $300 million by Jesus.  He’s threatened to kill women, assaulted police officers, and slandered every racial, ethnic and religious group you can think of.  But he’s not apologizing for shit.  He’s like, “Jesus gave me $300 million for torturing Jim Caviezel for four hours—what have you done with your life?”  He’s never going to star opposite Helen Hunt in a romantic comedy again, but is that really a punishment?  In fact, shouldn’t he be forced to stare at Helen Hunt’s soul-killing face for another four months as punishment?

Now that I think about it, if Chris Brown wants to redeem himself, he should have to make a movie with Helen Hunt.  I’d say we should throw Kevin Spacey and that Osment in there too, but he didn’t actually kill Rihanna, so we’d have some Eighth Amendment issues there.

February 23, 2012

A Real Career

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:38

Hey, Gail, how’s it going?  Looks like you were too busy copying off Dennis’ paper to remember to put your bra on this morning, and now you’re just pointing every which way.

Seems like Dennis is cool with it, though.  I’ve been a Dennis before, long ago.  More Dennis in the top two panels than Dennis at the bottom, but in all fairness to the Gails I’ve known, my expectations were a lot lower than his seem to be.

I come away from this more than a little confused, though.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for Dennis because Gail is playing him?  Am I supposed to feel sorry for Gail because she feels like she has to live without much-needed underwire and copy off dudes’ papers to get ahead in the world?  I don’t feel sorry for either of them.  They look good, they get paid, they get laid.  If I have to pick a side, I pick Gail.  I doubt she’s playing Dennis the way she thinks she is.  Look at him.  He knows what’s up.  And listen to that fake hesitation: “Gail, I…I love you…”  Is there any way he’s not full of shit?  “I love you?”  She’s going to give it up for “I love you” and “I’ll pretend I don’t see you copying off my paper”?  Way to reach for the stars, Gail.

Maybe he doesn’t know you’re using him, Gail, but he doesn’t even suspect?  Come on, girl, think!  That’s why you have to copy off Dennis’ paper; you’re not using your head.  Maybe you really did forget your bra if that’s how clueless you are.  But all’s fair, right?  You’re using him to further your career, he’s using your career to get into your pants, everybody wins.  Except for he’s still got a better job, and he always will, because he’s a man.

Oh, Gail.  If that wasn’t such a fabulous vest in the second panel, I’d feel like you were heading for a life of disappointment.

He Must Have Made A Smell

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:05

This is why I don’t sit on the couch.  Now you know.

February 22, 2012

Mitt Romney Quits Presidential Race

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 13:18

Mitt Romney just gave up.  Okay, so that wasn’t the headline.  The actual headline on CNBC was ‘Romney Proposes Slashing Top Tax Rate to 28 Percent.’  Mr. Likes-to-Fire -People is going to specifically and separately cut taxes for rich people.  Not a flat tax, not an across-the-board tax cut.  Lower taxes for rich people.  So…he’s quitting the race.  Even W. wasn’t this tin-eared.

I love it.

February 18, 2012


Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:41

Jenny:  For this project I had to pick the three things that I love; do you know what I picked?

Me:  I can’t imagine.

Jenny:  Family, friends, and fries.

Me:  Oh, so they all had to start with F?

Jenny:  Um, no…why?

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