Mr. Sensitive

January 5, 2014

2013 Performance of Family Stock Index Members

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 16:21

Good riddance, 2013.  In this review of the 2013 stock market performance of the components of the Family Stock Index I don’t want to talk about the actual stock market because—as I’ve said often and in an increasingly shrill tone—the actual stock market is a revolting, dangerous, government-manipulated asset bubble exceeded in size and catastrophic potential by (and, in size, at least, dwarfed by) the bubblicious bond market.  So instead I’m talking numbers, pure and absolute.  Specifically, I’m talking decimals.

Sometimes you feel like a decimal, sometimes you don’t—they’re very much like nuts in that way.  The way I look at it, the bigger the return—positive or negative—the more it seems that adding decimals constitutes bragging (for winners) or piling on (for losers).  Where’s the line?  That’s hard to say, but in my professional judgment the line is right around 20%.

I guess that wasn’t so hard to say.

I adjusted returns for cash dividends paid during the year for the dividend-payers in the FSX; in some cases, dividends are a significant component of overall return.  Ed Winston and Charlotte’s cats even flipped from negative to positive returns on the basis of high payouts.  Go figure.

Looking at the numbers, I can make sense of Charlotte, Nicole M. and Ed Winston; Reagan and Zero simply bent the market to their respective wills, as usual.  Everyone else?  Beats me.  It’d be great if any FSX members wanted to chime in with explanations for their out- or under-performance.  It’d also be great if every CEO’s compensation was capped at ten times the compensation of the lowest-paid worker at his or her company.  And it’d be great if I was four inches taller, although I’d settle for three.

The return (not including dividends) for the FSX overall was +28.8% in 2013, roughly on par with the +29.6% returned by the S&P 500.  Real income for the vast majority of the U.S. population was flat on a year-over-year basis, at best, same as it has been for the last decade or so.  But don’t worry, because this will definitely be the year that U.S. corporations start using all their free Fed money to expand capital investment and payrolls domestically—everyone says so.

Members are ranked and divided into groups because grouping and labeling people is fun.  Really, you should try it.

Group 1—Decimals are Unseemly

  • #1            Zondro (ZQK)—$4.25 to $8.77, gain of 106%.
  • #2            Ruby (RJET)—$5.68 to $10.69, gain of 88%.
  • #3            Charlotte (ICE)—$123.81 to $224.92, gain of 82%.
  • #4            Marisa (MOLXA)—$22.32 to $38.66, gain of 73% (+78% with dividends).
  • #5            Wilson (WILC)—$4.75 to $8.19, gain of 72%.
  • #6            Reagan (REGN)—$171.07 to $275.24, gain of 61%.
  • #7            Dustin (DST)—$60.60 to $90.74, gain of 50% (+52% with dividends).

Group 2—Decimals are Unnecessary

  • #8            Nicole M. (COLM)—$53.36 to $78.75, gain of 48% (+49% with dividends).
  • #9            Katie (CATY)—$19.53 to $26.73, gain of 37%.
  • #10          Jenny (JNY)—$11.06 to $14.96, gain of 35% (+37% with dividends).
  • #11          Mario the Younger (MAR)—$37.27 to $49.35, gain of 32% (+34% with dividends).
  • #12          Justin (SCI)—$13.81 to $18.13, gain of 31% (+33% with dividends).
  • #13          Nicole E. (NICE)—$33.48 to $40.96, gain of 22%.

Group 3—Decimals are Helpful

  • #14          Brinkley (BCO)—$28.53 to $34.14, gain of 19.7% (+21.1 with dividends).
  • #15          Lisa (LNCE)—$24.12 to $28.66, gain of 18.8% (+21.5% with dividends).
  • #16          Lee (TGI)—$65.30 to $76.07, gain of 16.5% (+16.7% with dividends).
  • #17          Mario the Elder (MGEE)—$50.95 to $57.71, gain of 13.3% (+16.4% with dividends).
  • #18          Marcus (MCS)—$12.47 to $13.44, gain of 7.8% (+10.5% with dividends).

Group 4—Dividends are Helpful

  • #19          Icarus (FAST)—$46.65 to $47.51, gain of 1.8% (+3.6% with dividends).
  • #20          Winston (ED)—$55.54 to $55.28, loss of 0.5% (+4.0% with dividends).
  • #21          Nami & Lita (NL)—$11.45 to $11.18, loss of 2.4% (+2.0% with dividends).

Group 5—Negative Returns Greater Than Zero (mathematically impossible but FSXily likely)

  • #22          Jodi & Josie (JOY)—$63.78 to $58.49, loss of 8.3% (-7.2% with dividends).
  • #23          Lulu (LULU)—$73.26 to $59.03, loss of 22%.
  • #24          Lucas (LEI)—$1.47 to $0.97, loss of 34%.

Group 6—Zero

  • #25          Zero (ZAGG)—$7.36 to $4.35, loss of 41%.


  1. I think I’m up because the market knows I’m serious about actually losing my extra weight this year. Especially if I wear your cool new headphones and sing and dance.

    Comment by euregirlsandboys — January 6, 2014 @ 14:40 | Reply

  2. I’m glad NamiLita made it up in the end with the help of dividends. I know they’re sad I’m in school and not able to pay full attention to them every waking moment of their lives, which is definitely what they communicate is their preference, but apparently school is really great for me according to the FSX, so they’ll just need to deal. I decided not to go back to work at Cat’s Cradle this semester, so maybe that was a nice consolation for them, although it might be playing into Zero’s poor performance, since he’s working hard for the money. Sometimes I like to think of Zero’s performance in the FSX not as a reflection of his personal life/happiness but as a reflection of the alien force inside him. It struggles to deal with human existence, so it makes sense that he destroys every stock he gets.

    Comment by Sis — January 8, 2014 @ 08:48 | Reply

    • Z is up 11% so far this year–does that mean the alien is winning?

      Comment by lbej — January 8, 2014 @ 13:18 | Reply

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