Mr. Sensitive

September 9, 2013

Evil Corporatists Buy My Dead Cat

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 10:47

This morning, Koch Industries announced plans to pay $7.2 billion for Marisa (MOLX/A), my deceased cat.  At one time, Marisa was involved in the manufacture of electronic components (doing business under the trade name ‘Molex’), but she exited that business before I acquired her in 2006.  She died in October 2012 and has been benevolently haunting my son’s room in the months since her passing.  She was a good cat, but she had a bad habit of bringing dead animals into the house, and–like all cats–she did not respond well to instruction.  The animal-carcass situation improved following Marisa’s transition to the afterlife, but the compliance issues have not.  Do I treasure my memories of my beloved cat?  Well, sure.  Are those memories worth $7.2 billion?  Hell no.

If not for the fact that Charles and David Koch control Koch Industries, I would point out the potential challenges that might arise when trying to achieve an acceptable ROI from a dead cat.  But the billionaire Koch Brothers (pronounced ‘cock’) are the foremost opponents of science and progress in the United States, if not the entire world.  They bankroll the worst reactionary right-wing politicians, they lobby endlessly against climate change research and policy, and they shamelessly intimidate their own employees into voting for their political puppets.  The Kochs are anti-democratic autocrats, relentlessly manipulating voters and politicians to undermine public awareness of and resistance to their predatory corporate empire.  Imagine John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie without the philanthropic social conscience, and you’ve got the Kochs. They are evil.

My only concern is for Marisa.  I would fear for her safety if she weren’t dead; as it stands, though, I’m sure she can fend for herself.  The Kochs are getting a mercurial, feline poltergeist, and they’re the ones who should be afraid.

Marisa’s A shares (for ‘afterlife’) closed at $24.70 on Friday; the Koch bid of $38.50 represents a 56% premium to that closing price and adds more than 200 points to the Family Stock Index by itself.  I’d say thank you, but if I could say one thing to the Kochs, ‘thank you’ wouldn’t be it.

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