Mr. Sensitive

November 12, 2012

We Already Have a Three-Party System

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 09:12

Our three parties are the Democratic Party, the Corporatist Party, and the Apocalypse Party; the confusion arises because the latter two caucus together as Republicans.

The Corporatists brought this mess on themselves.  The modern Republican Party is the party of big business, coming together at the end of the 19th Century’s Gilded Age to elect William McKinley in 1896.  The Corporatist Republicans dominated their party—and American politics—for nearly four decades thereafter.  It all came to an end under poor, clueless Hoover with a truly epic flame-out for laissez-faire capitalism.  Between 1929 and 1932 unemployment skyrocketed, industrial production shrank, the stock market cratered, and the banking system collapsed.  The political result was that the Democrats retook the White House and the Corporatists were thrown out in the cold.  Gee, why does that all sound so familiar?

It sounds familiar because something very similar happened at the end of the W. Bush presidency as a result the of undisciplined deregulation of big business, banking in particular.  It all came to a head in the 2007-2009 crisis, and Bush gets most of the blame for the economic contraction, stock market plunge, and banking collapse that ensued.  He deserves the blame, of course—just not all of it.  Bill Clinton and Alan Greenspan are just as responsible as George W. Bush for the disaster; it was a bi-partisan mess.  The real culprits were the Corporatists, whose influence in the Clinton Administration was as significant as it was under Bush (I’m looking at you, Bob Rubin).  They infiltrated, compromised, and ultimately neutered the government, just as they had done nearly a century before, and the results were eerily similar.  Instead of going away—as in 1932—the Corporatists took a dramatic step to preserve their influence: they expanded their caucus to formally include crazy people.

The Apocalypse Party—I call them Pockies—has been voting Republican for awhile.  The Pockies are an otherwise-diverse group of people who hate one or more aspects of modern life so much that the hatred poisons their view of everything else.  It doesn’t matter what they hate—it could be almost anything.  Within the Pockie mainstream the list of people and things to hate is a long one: minorities, women, homosexuals, people of different religions, people who don’t like Dale Jr., people who do—anyone, really, who’s fundamentally different from the hater in some way.  What changed after the Corporatist electoral losses in 2008 is that the Republicans acknowledged and embraced the Pockies, running them for office in parts of the country where the Corporatists had no chance of winning.  The result was an historic Republican takeover of the House of Representatives in 2010, albeit with a caucus that was completely unmanageable.  The Pockies will vote nay  on anything (you can’t actually vote ‘hate,’ but ‘nay’ is close enough), but if you want them to vote for something constructive or affirmative, well…good luck with that.  They hate the modern world and want it to end; in the meantime, they’re content voting ‘nay’ repeatedly.  That’s what the Corporatists signed on for by embracing the ‘Tea Party’ and Southern racists and Pockies of all stripes.  You’ve got a majority, Mr. Boehner; I just hope you didn’t plan to accomplish anything with it.

‘Nay’ was good enough for the last two years—it was part of a deliberate strategy to frustrate, undermine and ultimately defeat Barack Obama in 2012.  But it failed, and now the Corporatists have to deal with an emboldened Senate leadership and a President who never has to face the electorate again.  Mr. Boehner has two choices: cut bait with the Pockies and work out a grand compromise with the Democrats, or go off the cliff.  I honestly have no idea which way it will go.  I bet Mr. Boehner doesn’t know any better than I do.



  1. I like the nickname Pockies.

    Comment by euregirlsandboys — November 12, 2012 @ 09:55 | Reply

    • I know, right?

      Comment by lbej — November 12, 2012 @ 11:14 | Reply

      • You’re a genius.

        Comment by euregirlsandboys — November 12, 2012 @ 12:03

      • I’m afraid you may be biased.

        Comment by lbej — November 12, 2012 @ 12:09

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