Mr. Sensitive

September 18, 2012

Poor People Will Still Vote For Romney

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 13:05

So Darth Romney says that he doesn’t care about the 47% percent people who don’t pay federal income taxes, many of whom are the working poor and many more of whom are retired senior citizens.  We have the leaked video of Romney crowing about writing those people off, and proclaiming he won’t do anything for them as President.  So he loses all those votes, right?

Ha ha, of course not.

Why will so many poor people still vote for Romney?  Why will my own low-income, mostly rural North Carolina district vote Republican OVERWHELMINGLY in November?  In fact there are three distinct groups of poor people who will vote for Romney.

First up, we have the poor people who still think Obama is a Muslim because of his name, and assume that Romney and Ryan are Protestants just like them.  In fact, Obama is just a regular old Protestant, whereas Romney and Ryan are a Mormon and an atheist, respectively.  There are a lot of these people.  If you’re going to vote for a President based on his religion, the least you can do is get your facts straight.  But facts never matter much for this crowd, anyway.

Next, there are the poor people who are abominable racists.  There are a lot of these people, too; you don’t realize how many there are because they invent other reasons to hate Obama to conceal the fact that they hate him because he doesn’t look like them.  It’s one thing to think the guy’s a bad leader, or to oppose his policies; it’s another thing entirely to hate him like he did something to you personally.  The people who hate Obama so much it oozes out of their pores?—they hate him because they hate black people.  I guarantee it.  There’s nothing to be done about the racists; we just have to outlast them.  They’re losing history and they know it; that reality makes them hate the first black President even more.

Finally, and most problematically, there are the poor people who believe in the American Dream Lottery.  I’m not talking about the American Dream where you work hard to get an education, claw your way up in a profession, and relentlessly pursue a better life for yourself and your family.  That’s so 19th century.  I’m talking about the American Dream Lottery, where you end up rich for no good reason.  In the American Dream Lottery worldview, anyone can get rich by winning the actual lottery, by being a Teen Mom or a Real Housewife, by suing someone for something (suing soda companies because you’re fat is the next thing—you watch), or by dumbing down Twilight and adding S&M (yes, I know that dreadful woman is British—that just means it’s spreading).  There are a lot of these people, and they’re the ones the Democrats need to talk to.

The American Dream Lottery players identify with Romney because they don’t know how he got rich any more than they have a plan for getting rich themselves.  “That could be me one day,” they think, “and I won’t want to pay crazy taxes on all my magic money.  I better vote Republican.”  This is the American Dream as reborn in the toxic womb of Snooki from Jersey Shore.  Democrats have to make these people understand what Romney is really up to.  Romney wants to grind these folks into the dirt, drive them to crime, and lock them up in (privatized!) prisons.  He’s trying to deliver the 1% coup de grace, going a step beyond the string-them-along policies of the Bush era.

Romney wants to take your lottery ticket, poor people.  Are you going to let him take your lottery ticket?  Didn’t Jesus throw the lottery-ticket thieves out of the Temple?  I think he did.  We need to clear out the Temple, Jesus-style.  Even my district can get behind that, right?

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9 Comments »

  1. This is my favorite post of yours yet. You should send it to the W-S Journal. (Not Wall Street; Winston-Salem, though I’d love to see the response from the WSJ, too.)

    Comment by Jill Williams — September 18, 2012 @ 13:21 | Reply

  2. Yes, let’s send it in!

    Comment by Katie E — September 18, 2012 @ 15:06 | Reply

    • Be my guest. You get to answer the door when the villagers arrive with torches and pitchforks.

      Comment by lbej — September 18, 2012 @ 15:23 | Reply

      • Yeah, I’m sure I’d hear about it from someone at work. Maybe anonymous is best.

        Comment by Katie E — September 18, 2012 @ 15:48

      • Wait…are you saying it would make those cretins mad? Sign me up for cretin-baiting!

        Comment by lbej — September 18, 2012 @ 15:53

      • Aw, just edit a tiny bit then send it in. If you are worried about angering too many people at once, take out the jab at “50 Shades” and you’ll get your female allies back in force. You’ve already put it on the internet, so anyone could find it and target you anyway.

        Comment by Jill Williams — September 18, 2012 @ 16:01

  3. So of the 3 types, 2 are raciits and 2 are stupid. Did I get that right? You are such a moron. What should I expect? I mean this is all you guys can do, make up unreal senarios, post it on some obsure little blog. Than all 6 of your friends can tell you how wonderful & smart you are. It would be kind of funny, but it’s just sad. Enjoy yourself being the sad little king of a sad litle hill. BTW, how can you “dumb down” twilight?

    Comment by Paul Eason — September 20, 2012 @ 20:15 | Reply

    • My hill’s not sad, and I will enjoy it; thanks for your well wishes.

      Comment by lbej — September 20, 2012 @ 20:26 | Reply

  4. **racists**

    Comment by Paul Eason — September 20, 2012 @ 20:16 | Reply


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