Mr. Sensitive

April 30, 2012

New Justin

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 07:24

As I mentioned in the Friday update, the purchase of Great Wolf Resorts by Apollo Global Management is closing this week; thus we say goodbye to WOLF at the open this morning.  In the end, the shareholders probably got a fair price: $7.85 for a stock that started the year at $2.90 is not too shabby.  Where it gets interesting is when you consider that management and the board couldn’t wait to sell at $5 to the same buyout firm that was ultimately willing to pay almost 80% more than that.  I’d like to get a look at the severance packages for the top execs that came with that lowball $5 bid—I bet they weren’t so stingy.  The shareholder lawsuits will peter out now, but I certainly hope the outgoing executives never hold fiduciary positions at a public company again.  As for the Family Stock Index, well…let’s just say I’m not complaining.  WOLF set us up terrifically for the rest of the year, accounting for 728 of the 2,402 points we’ve gained in 2012.  So I’ve decided to let Justin rest in peace for the remainder of 2012, putting him in something a little less animated.

I was looking for something to reflect Justin’s new vocation, Science Writer.  My take is that the science part is at least as appealing to Justin as the writer part.  Writing about science is almost almost almost like being a scientist…in much the same way that writing about the Moon is almost like being the Moon, but I digress.  So I went for science (in my head I say it like Kelly Bundy—sky-ance) with the ticker SCI.  SCI is Service Corporation International.  What does a company with America’s most nondescript name actually do?  Well, here’s the Bloomberg description:

Service Corporation International provides death care services worldwide. The Company operates funeral service locations, cemeteries, and crematoria. Service also sells prearranged funeral services in most of its service markets.

BOOM!  That’s one-stop-shopping, folks; now Justin can write you some science, and when it bores you to death, he can fit you for a snazzy coffin and comfort your family, all for a modest fee.  I love this so much I didn’t even try to talk myself out of it.  Well, I tried a little, but it didn’t work.  Death jokes are the best jokes, so SCI it is.  The stock trades at $11.50, near the top of its 52-week range of $12.12 to $8.37, valuing the company at $2.5 billion.  SCI enters the FSX as of this morning; I rebalanced the whole index because trying to do something else was hurting my head.

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3 Comments »

  1. I was worried about what could possible replace WOLF in awesomeness. But there it is.
    Writing about science does make me almost a scientist. In the way that being a sportscaster almost makes someone a professional athlete. But I’ll take it. As long as people don’t interact with the actual scientists, they’ll never know the difference.
    It’s extra creepy that the name of the company suggests nothing about what they actually do. It’s the sort of company you’d see in a Stephen King short story, but they’d also do the killing. I love it.

    Comment by Justin Eure — April 30, 2012 @ 09:33 | Reply

  2. That’s a nice little point, Justin. What are you hiding up your sleeves? Besides molecules, of course.

    Comment by niceowl — April 30, 2012 @ 16:55 | Reply

  3. I love it.

    Comment by Charlotte — May 1, 2012 @ 22:20 | Reply


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