Mr. Sensitive

February 14, 2012

Battle Of The Sexes, Tiger-Style

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:00

I was sorting comics this past weekend and I ran into a major obstacle.  You might think the obstacle was fitting sixty-two boxes of comics in a storage space that already has six hundred boxes in it, but that will have to be a challenge for another weekend.  First things first–I must decide the battle of the sexes using people in tiger costumes.

We start with Tiger-Man, because men come first.  It’s in the Bible, so if you don’t like it, you know where you can direct your complaints.

There’s a lot to like here.  I like the claws, I like the teeth, and the tiger print is nicely done.  The guy with the panther face on his chest is getting his ass kicked, which is as it should be.  I didn’t even mention Tiger-Man’s hair yet, mostly because I’m too jealous.  What’s the big negative?  He’s wearing a girls’ gymnastics leotard.  I just put two of them in the dryer, and I know one when I see one.  Also, where is the mystery?  He’s giving us his best interior action scenes right there on the cover, and not only that, but he’s ripping them to pieces!  If you don’t respect your own martial-arts efforts, Tiger-Man, how can you expect the rest of us to?  I didn’t even read this comic–if it’s not good enough for Tiger-Man, it’s not good enough for me.

Now, on to Tiger-Girl.

This cover is terrible.  Where is she?  Why did they use crayons to color the buildings?  Couldn’t they have at least sprung for the Crayola 64-pack?  But still…there’s something happening here.  I sense raw, female power.  I am compelled to find out more.

We start off with a beat-down of the Growler.

I’m not impressed.  Does anyone think Tiger-Man wouldn’t have eaten this guy’s face?  Just completely eaten it.  Tiger-Girl’s handling it, sure, but she’s having to go all jujitsu on Growler.  If this is Tiger-Man, Growler has no face right now.

With Growler out of the way, the shadowy bad guys have to send in Wolfhound.  Tiger-Girl needs to bring an actual tiger to this fight, because Wolfhound is going to bring…oh, do I have to say it?  Tiger-Girl takes her tiger, and there is a special moment of discovery.

Can you get this kind of animal-handler/stalker drama from Tiger-Man?  No, you can not.

The actual battle with Wolfhound isn’t the best.  Basically, the tiger beats the wolf.  But in the middle, this does happen:

Tiger-Girl doesn’t die.  Wolfhound doesn’t, either, and I’m pretty sure he’d have come back to menace Tiger-Girl again…if there had been a second issue of Tiger-Girl.

Why wasn’t there a second issue of Tiger-Girl?

Let me show you:

And we’re done.

So who wins?  The readers.  And the Bible.



1 Comment »

  1. Wow. Wolf Hound really has a fancy way with words. ‘Tis simple. Heed my gratuitous warning.
    Tiger Girl is right there with him. “His supposed male superiority is driving me back to the jungle.” Those two just need to get married already.

    Comment by Charlotte — February 15, 2012 @ 21:06 | Reply

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