Mr. Sensitive

November 22, 2011

Assassination Attempt Foiled

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:08

Last night I opened the microwave to reheat some chicken and it threw itself at me, separating and launching its plate glass front in a brazen attempt to decapitate me in the kitchen.  IN MY HOME.  (It works better if you picture Al Pacino for that last line, not me.)  I blame the book.  Did Austria blame the Bosnian anarchists who assassinated Archduke Francis Ferdinand for his murder?  Well, yes, and they were all executed.  But it also blamed Serbia, and that turned out to be a much more momentous blaming.  So the book will pay for this affront.  The assassin himself is locked in the basement with the spiders and we are attempting to install his replacement.  I consider that, since the moment of that unprovoked and dastardly attack yesterday evening, we have been at war with all microwaves everywhere.  We will stop at nothing now to win through to absolute victory, and install this new microwave.  If I have to buy a diamond-cutting laser drill, well, I shall.


1 Comment »

  1. […] Our microwave broke last week. We kind of need a microwave, and we knew we wouldn’t want to try Thanksgiving without one available, so I went and got a new one immediately. Our plan was to remove the old one and install the new one ourselves. After all, we had to remove and install a new disposal earlier this year, and we managed that. So surely we could do this, right? Well, I wouldn’t say it was easy, mostly because it was really heavy (which Lee can handle actually) and because I’m incapable of properly measuring things. But we did it! And it looks so nice. And it works. […]

    Pingback by A Box (not even slightly wordless Wednesday) | Your Girls and Boys — November 30, 2011 @ 12:15 | Reply

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