Mr. Sensitive

September 1, 2011

I Want The Thieves’ Forest Emptied

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 11:06

The girls supposedly cleaned their room Monday and Tuesday, and yet, dogged sleuth that I am, I was suspicious.  The spoons returned to me were fewer than I had expected–clue #1.  Then yesterday Reagan asked me to help her smooth out the comforter on top of her mattress, and she let slip that she needed to make sure it covered the whole [fitted] sheet because otherwise the crumbs made it hard to sleep.  That was my second clue that perhaps the problems persisted.  I had resisted stripping their beds because they have lots of personal stuff in them–notes, books, magazine clippings–and also because I was angry enough as it was.  But I had then a preponderance of clues all suggesting malfeasance, and furthermore, I need all the spoons.  If I didn’t need them I wouldn’t have them, dammit.  The operation quickly snowballed, as these things are wont to do.  Here is the unbelievable amount of crap that they had squirreled away in their beds:

I recommend that you examine the detail so that you can come closer to an appreciate of what it is that they are.  Bear in mind also that Reagan spent most of Tuesday afternoon ‘working on her bunk,’ as she put it, so I can only imagine what I would have found if I had gone in before she did.  This is what I’m up against in the form of my own children.  Now you understand why crack-f***er spider scouts in the bathroom no longer perturb me.



  1. I didn’t even try to really go into the contents of the bunks because, like you, I felt that was personal for them. But it shouldn’t be gross.

    P.S. I’ve been looking for the sweater I see in there for a week.

    Comment by euregirlsandboys — September 1, 2011 @ 12:03 | Reply

  2. And I see one of your pencils, too!

    Comment by euregirlsandboys — September 1, 2011 @ 12:03 | Reply

    • Good eye. It was wrapped in some kind of chewed-up candy, though.

      Comment by lbej — September 1, 2011 @ 14:18 | Reply

  3. And I told them we need to save hangers for my consignment plans, but I didn’t mean to save them in their beds.

    Comment by euregirlsandboys — September 1, 2011 @ 12:04 | Reply

  4. I love it. The Bible is the best part.

    Comment by Charlotte — September 1, 2011 @ 13:43 | Reply

    • Truer words have never been spoken.

      Comment by lbej — September 1, 2011 @ 14:17 | Reply

    • Wasn’t the big gorilla yours, Charlotte?

      Comment by euregirlsandboys — September 1, 2011 @ 14:32 | Reply

      • Yes, he was. I think I got him when I was in middle school. He’s a million years old.

        Comment by Charlotte — September 5, 2011 @ 17:20

  5. I’ve never seen a bible so big.

    Comment by niceowl — September 1, 2011 @ 22:46 | Reply

    • It was our family Bible; Nan and Pop gave it to our Mom and Dad when they got married. I remember Mom reading it to us–only on Easter, for some reason–and showing us the paintings in it. It’s illustrated, and the Jesus in the pictures is the whitest Jesus you can possibly imagine. He’s Charlotte white.

      Comment by lbej — September 2, 2011 @ 06:28 | Reply

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