Mr. Sensitive

July 21, 2011

Battle Of Cat Stink

Filed under: Uncategorized — lbej @ 14:00

Last night the bedroom was intolerably stinky.  The cats had pushed too far with their expansive poopage, and today I pushed back.  I removed their litter boxes, ventilated the closet, swept, mopped, and scrubbed the entire room.  Alas, it now just smells like a very clean turd.  They seem to have done something to the air on a molecular level.  If were this guy, I could fix it:

I have tried to think the cat crap into gardenias whilst wearing my Firestorm t-shirt, to no avail.  Another night like last night and I will have to resort to fire.  As a side-note, you might think that Firestorm’s power is something to do with fire, yes?  Storms of fire.  But no.  Firestorm can alter the molecular structure of anything, except for that he’s an assclown and doesn’t know how to open a can of soda without the advice of the professor he shares his brain with.  What?  He’s basically Molecule Man, only Molecule Man was already a lame Fantastic Four villain with inexplicable black lightning scars on his face, like Harry Potter times 10 and then times zero.

If you could rearrange matter at will, is this really how you would play it?

I would take either of these guys right now, though, because otherwise I’m setting a cat on fire come bedtime.

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