Mr. Sensitive

August 20, 2010

How To Save Money

Filed under: Stuff I Just Wanted To Say — lbej @ 14:51
Tags: , ,

First, you develop a case of the gout, a really bad one.  Then you take 0.6 mg of colchicine every hour for ten hours.  Then you can never eat again, ever.  Money successfully saved.



  1. Does your Cheerwine contain fructose? I was reading about gout to find out if maybe changes in your diet could help you, and they say fructose can lead to high levels of uric acid. Same with red meat. I know those are your two favorite things, so I hate to suggest you cut back on them, but I too have had to cut out things I love from my diet because of my stupid body being stupid, so I thought it was worth mentioning.

    Comment by Charlotte — August 20, 2010 @ 16:02 | Reply

    • Thanks for trying to help me out, sis. First things first, because I have a rep to maintain: don’t tell me what to do, meat-hater. Just kidding. I mean, I’m not kidding, but I get that I should be kidding. Seriously, I am aware of those things and I have cut back on both significantly over the last year. I’m not going to turn vegetarian, because I don’t hate myself and my species, but I cut back preemptively, mostly because I thought I had to have bad cholesterol. Turns out my cholesterol is fine, but I’m still good with the reduction in red meat. Moderation is good thing sometimes, or so I hear. Alcohol is also a major cause of gout, and my attacks started while I was drinking. Yet over the last year as I’ve stayed sober completely and improved my diet, the frequency/severity of gout attacks has increased. The correlation between the attacks and diet doesn’t seem to be there. The likely culprit, in my non-expert opinion, is the diuretic I was on. It apparently causes a slow, steady buildup of uric acid over a long period of use, something the doctor never saw fit to tell me, even when I asked. I quit it six weeks ago and have actually seen a slight improvement since then. I am also on a new medicine that does nothing but lower uric acid. The drawback there is that while it builds up, it apparently can cause the gout attacks to increase. Gout occurs when the uric acid crystals come or go in large amounts. So I haven’t given up on my prospects for beating this problem long-term. How many times did the Germans break the French lines in WWI only to have them reform and push the invaders back yet again?

      Comment by lbej — August 20, 2010 @ 16:53 | Reply

      • That’s good to hear. I mean it sounds like you know the culprit and that you’ll soon have it beat. I would be sad if you had to give up Cheerwine. Why don’t we have robot bodies yet? I’d like to eat candy and drink coffee all day, scientists!

        Comment by Sis — August 20, 2010 @ 18:15

      • Turns out the Cheerwine I drink now is diet and doesn’t have fructose in it anyway. It probably has whatever unnatural substance they put in to give it taste despite having zero nutritional value, but I’ll worry about that later. Maybe as part of the class-action suit against the soda companies when it turns out they gave us cancer I can get that robot body. Re-read that sentence, grammar people! Let it sink in real good.

        Comment by lbej — August 20, 2010 @ 18:51

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