Mr. Sensitive

April 1, 2010

Basement War – Homefront

Filed under: Basement War — lbej @ 06:20
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The war is lasting longer than anticipated.  I am old school (École Supérieure de Guerre, let’s say) and I understand and appreciate well-executed manoeuvre battle plans, but the reality is that I want a decisive confrontation and I’m not likely to get one.  Quite simply, it is not even a little bit in the enemy’s interest to engage me at any one location with an entire army.  I believe he still has several field armies, if not more than one army group, but my intel on his order of battle is sketchy.  At any rate, he is not coming out from behind his fortifications, so they must be razed, each and every one of them.  That takes time and there is a cost to the homefront.  I planned to scrub the master bathroom a week ago and it still hasn’t happened.  Organized unrest has yet to emerge–if you don’t count Lulu–but it’s only a matter of time.  I can’t allow that sort of nonsense.  I want to make it clear: I love my people, but if they act up, I will go Deng Xiaoping all over them.  History tells us that Kent State galvanized whereas Tiananmen Square, shall we say, dispersed.  So the message to my countrymen is this: I have spiders to kill, so unless you want tanks in the living room, be quiet and watch Wizards of Waverly Place.

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